The Love Designer, Renée Piane, joins us on the show to talk about what her book, Get Real About Love, is all about and what she’s doing for our GAPers. Renée is one of the leaders and influencers in the nation. She has written two books, Get Real About Love and The Love Mechanics.
3:26 – Get Real About Love book, what is the message? Dual messages
5:49 – Give us some steps, how do you get “real” about love? Evaluate where you’re at in the love game. What’s your relationship status?
8:52 – the power of your love lineage. Persian, Indian. Japanese, etc… What percentage of you believes that love exists for YOU?
11:57 – What are the 2 questions you get asked all the time? Are you making love a priority? Are you getting yourself together? You can meet somebody ANYWHERE. Flirting classes. Put yourself in position for love. Go where the men go. Change your routine. Have you eliminated the passenger living in your vehicle; a temp love
18:31 – What is your definition of emotion and what are the biggest mistakes emotionally when it comes to meeting men or about love? What are your core beliefs?
21:02 – Special offer for the gappers
23:45 – What is the special formula of those who have been married for a long time? What are some things that people do to sabotage love. The Three Tees = Timing. Touch. Tone.
36:02 – Advice as a 10 y/o – people connector even as a nerdy school girl. Turtle neck influencer
37:18 – Advice as a 20 y/o – Beauty school. Positive mentor influences. Always studying the mind and body. Wedding planner. Wrote vows. I had a mission even at that age. Love Works and production company
39:22 – Advice as a 30 y/o – Move to L.A. at 28 years old. Love works coctail parties. LA party. It’s always just been a gift to bring people together.
40:53 – Advice as a 40 y/o – Changing my mindset about love. Speed Dating. Allowed love into my life. Having balance. Getting clarity
42:12 – Advice as a 50 y/o – You can find love at any time and any age. Know yourself. Celebrate life every day. Thankful for every blessing. Remain young. Age is not a number. Forever 29. Health, balance, meditation, and prayer keep you young. Love yourself.
48:59 – Show close
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The Love Designer – Bridging The GAP By Getting Real About LOVE
I’ve been so fortunate to help tens of thousands of people get attitude. Attitude is the secret formula of success for your business, life, emotions, and relationships. This show is going to help you get yours, so let’s get some.
Welcome everyone. Please remember to subscribe, rate, and review. Most importantly, share this show with your friends. We are talking about probably the most important attitude booster that there is, which is to control your emotions. That’s the big one. When I ask everybody, “What’s the most important attitude booster?” They’re like, “Number six, control your emotions.”
When we look at failed relationships, we know that it’s emotional instability. It’s people who are lashing out and not in control of their emotions that are breaking down the walls. What have we done in the show? We got who I considered to be one of the leaders and influencers in the nation to come on our show, Ms. Renee Piane, known as The Love Designer.
Renee has written two books, Get Real About Love and The Love Mechanics, which is a great book for men and was her first book. She’s also offering some incredible stuff for our GAPers. She’s going to tell you what that is. She’s got a five-week course called Get Ready for Love and a personal coaching session called The Love Designer Coaching. Renee Piane, welcome to the show.
I am so excited to be here after meeting you. First of all, I love your message, Glenn. It’s very important. After 29 years in the love industry, attitude is everything when it comes to love. When people get hurt, they lose their faith in love. They lose their heart. They damage the way that they feel about themselves, so I’m here to help.
We are going to walk through a whole series of questions. When Renee and I first met, we were on the phone for about an hour. You guys are going to love this session because Renee’s got real answers. We all know that the quality of your love life is determined by the quality of questions you ask yourself about your love life. Renee has dedicated her life to helping people. Renee, let’s start with your book, Get Real About Love. I’m sure you can get it on Amazon. Let’s talk about what that book is, what it’s all about, what’s the message, and what you are doing in that book for our GAPers.
If you look at the cover, Get Real Love is in bigger letters. It’s a two-message cover name, Get Real Love. The way to get it is to get real about it. Many people have broken hearts with the divorce rate being so high. I’m offering the secrets to opening their heart again and doing an evaluation about themselves, the way they think, and the way that relationships may have been imprinted from their childhood and their lineage. It is very important and the perfect topic for controlling emotions because sometimes it’s unconscious in people.
I’m speaking all over the country about the art of balancing love life, family, and business because people are way out of balance right now, which makes them lonelier than ever. They need some inspiration to bring that sparkle back into their life again. When I speak, I wear a Wonder Woman costume. I come out and say, “We all have our superpowers, but at the end of the day, when you go home, you have to have somebody to share it with.”
The most successful people in the world, when their love lives go a little shaky, it affects their business bottom line, emotions, and all their relationships. A lot of times, it takes them down. We’re here to bring them up with a different attitude and some secrets of mine because I was guilty of being one of those not alcoholics but workaholics.
We’re alcoholics and we don’t want to admit it. That’s step one.
I can’t drink very much. I was a workaholic when I pioneered the first-speed dating company in America. I was flying everywhere to save the world and bring more love to the planet, and I’m still doing the same, but now I’m married. I’m excited that I’m here.
Since you mentioned it, let’s talk about some of the steps. Maybe give us the first 1, 2, or 3. I wish we had a whole day to interview. You are so full of information. When it comes to your relationships or getting real about love, what do you think are the 1 or 2 most important things? Maybe give us a story to help people understand or how to make that happen.
First of all, you have to evaluate where you are in the love game. I have a whole list here. It says, “What is your relationship status?” Are you in the midst of a breakup, happily married, maybe feeling out of sync with your loved one, reentering the dating game, and confused? You might have what I call the one-size syndrome, which means you’re always striving for something and then you’re going to find love. You’re contented on your own and still single or maybe ready for love. You’re in a situation where you have a temp in your life. You’re a busy single parent or assisting aging parents.” I call that the sandwich generation. These are most of the phases that people that I coach are in because they’re working people.
If you are in the midst of a breakup, your emotions are rolling everywhere. You have to look at your own individual situation very personally. Business people want instant results. That’s how we are. People call me and they go, “I want you to fix me right now.” I’m like, “Do you even have time to evaluate your heart?” I suggest to anybody out there, if you’re serious about this part of your life and it’s feeling out of sync, then you need to get real with where you’re at and realize that people all over the world are in a phase. Sometimes, when people are breaking up, they want to rush into love and jump into things too fast. My system is to make you take a get real look at how you are treating your own heart.
What I love about that is people always say, “Can you fix my attitude right now?” After a 45-minute keynote, I said, “You’re still going to have the same crappy attitude you had most likely when you walked in here.” It’s the same thing with your love. I’m like, “Guys, it took you all of your life to screw things up this bad. It’s going to take a little bit of time.” Your point of self-evaluation first or starting with you is amazing. If you want to control your emotions, how can you possibly do that if you don’t know where you are? I love that. Those questions were amazing, powerful, and insightful. What’s our next step?
The next step is to take a look at your role model. I grew up in a very passionate Italian family. We all have our family stuff. I did this TEDx about The Power of your Love Lineage. Our lineage causes us to follow paths from the generations before. Whether you’re Persian, Indian, Chinese, or Japanese, it doesn’t matter, but our cultures influence and they are additives. It’s very interesting because when authors write, they usually are giving advice. I’m giving advice from experience because I grew up in a family with three generations of cheaters. I did a study of my family. I’m very much into studying the patterns in families. This is what I do in my coaching. It’s helping you to look at how you were installed with your attitude from somewhere.
My installation was pretty rotten. “Men cannot be trusted. Get your own money. Become independent. Don’t trust anyone with your heart.” That is a pretty big deal for a little girl to see many women come to my mom for tea to hear that men couldn’t be trusted. Whatever core belief you have affects your energy, attitude, and actions to get out into the field again. If you’ve been hurt, sometimes it’s unconscious and it becomes a part of you. For each person out there that’s tuning in to this, as much as you’re successful and maybe your attitude at work is focused and great, but when your love life is not working or doesn’t even exist, it’s because there’s something blocking it.
I uncover the blocks quickly because I worked with over 500,000 singles. I pioneered the first-speed dating company. This is what happens in business. You’re meeting people and building rapport. It’s either you’re up or down. You’re feeling good about yourself or you’re not. It all depends on how you’re wiring your brain with different thoughts about love.Whether you're feeling good about yourself or not, it all depends on how you're wiring your brain with different thoughts about love. Click To Tweet
I’m asking anybody out there, what percentage of you right now in your life, no matter what phase, believes that love exists for you that triggered you when I read that list? Is it 50%, 60%, 70%, or 80%? Some people say, “I’m 100% ready for love, but I never go out.” Their actions and their intentions aren’t the same. I help people to align all of those things. It’s fascinating how people stop themselves and it’s not even conscious.
I’m sure it’s so fulfilling to you when your students and/or the people you help find love are able to change their lives. What are the two questions that you get asked all the time? I’m guessing one of them is, “Why can’t I find a man or why can’t I find a woman?” Tell me the answer to that and then tell me the question that you’re asked all the time.
I have a whole list here about being honest with yourself. Are you making love a priority? That’s number one. If you put love like a workout, eating healthy, or making sure you get yourself together before you go out every single day no matter where you are, you can meet somebody. People always think that there’s going to be this big grand event that’s coming up in their life like the party that they’re being invited to a few months from now. There’s something to do within the scope of where you live that you could be missing opportunities because you have a set schedule. You get up at a certain time and do the same things every single day.
Men and women are all looking for love everywhere. I’m always out and I teach flirting classes. I’m a master at flirting, but it’s all about being present at the moment. If you are a person that has a 9:00 to 5:00 job, I suggest to those people that have a system or a routine, you have to break your routines because single people usually go out for coffee before work. Sometimes they’ll stop and have breakfast and read the paper. They’ll go to a coffee shop locally or go out for lunch. Sometimes people that are single go out after work to happy hour. Most people don’t break their pattern.
I used to get up early because the coffee shop down the street from my house was filled with businessmen and suits, and I like businessmen. If you want to meet businessmen, you have to go to a place where they stop in quickly in the morning to grab a cup of coffee or whatever they’re eating for breakfast, which isn’t the healthiest option.
Get yourself every day ready for success as if you are not only going to have new clients that day. I get dressed up in the morning, even if I go to the gym. You should change your routines if you’re not meeting people with that routine, or even have any new routine. You have to put yourself in places where there are people, depending on your community.
I can walk right across the street and get lunch, and it’s all right there. If you live in a lonely community, you have to go to places that are in your local community. Women were bitching and complaining, “I can’t find any men.” I went to the grocery store and there were men everywhere in every aisle. They are alone with their little baskets of steak.
Not knowing where the hell to go or how to get anything.
I’m looking down the aisle. I got my phone and go, “I’m at the grocery store. Where are you? It’s 7:00 and every bachelor in my neighborhood is here.” I went down the aisle and it was all men in the grocery store. There are men everywhere. I love to go to networking conferences. People should be networking. The Chamber of Commerce is basic networking. I go to networking groups and meetups to learn things.
If you want to meet interesting people, whether it’s cryptocurrency or real estate development, I used to go where the men go. I still do because I go to networking groups all the time. People need to change their routines. Number two, you need to look at if you have eliminated the passenger remaining in your vehicle. Some busy successful people have a temp or somebody that they date that they know they’re never going to marry. Women will say, “I have a lover on the side, but I’m looking for a husband.” I’m like, “Really? You work six days a week, you have a son, and 4 days out of those 6 days, you have some guy temp.” Men do the same thing too. Let’s get real. People sometimes have somebody that they call the sideline person. That is a passenger that takes up the space that you should be eliminating so that you can focus on love.
I have men call me a lot and they say, “Women don’t make it easy to meet them these days.” Ladies, think about this. If you are a beautiful woman and you’re expecting a man to come right up and say, “Good morning. You look lovely,” men now are too afraid even to say hello. Men are waiting, ladies. I have taught men for over 30 years. Men are very private about their affairs and they need green light signals from you across the room.
When you see a man walk into a place and you think that he looks handsome, go stand in line up near him and say, “You look handsome today.” He may be married, but you’re open to the possibility of saying good morning. Everyone is so afraid and on their phones. People have to get off their phones and look at people and say, “Good morning,” smile, “You look handsome,” and even talk to strangers. Your husband or wife right now could be a stranger to you. The only way you’re going to meet them is to say something fun.
To meld all this, what I’m hearing is 1) Love is all around you, 2) opportunity is all around you, and 3) You have to be ready and present in your love and attraction. You got to wake up believing it. Love is found in the strangest places. The bottom line is, “Why can’t I find the right man?” It’s because you got to find the right you first when it’s all said and done, which is what you’re saying. I want to shift because I’d love to hear your answer to this. What is your definition of emotion? What are the biggest mistakes emotionally that you see men and women making when it comes to either meeting people or being in love?
I hear it all the time. They have self-doubt because they’ve been rejected a few times. It triggers patterns from their childhood. In neuro-linguistic programming, you have to realize that the brain stores memories as they happen to you throughout your life. For example, guys will say this to me all the time, “As soon as she said you only work there?” It triggered his “I’m not good enough for this woman.”
We all have core beliefs that were installed into our heads throughout the years. When I ask the right questions to people, which I do in my evaluation, I ask them questions and I can hear all the negative and positive attitudes that stop them like, “I’ve tried all of the things before and it didn’t work.” The negative attitudes that they have about love are what stop them. It’s the way they’re thinking about themselves. They have to believe that they deserve love. If they’ve been hurt, the emotional part of it sometimes gets amplified because it triggers old patterns from a childhood wound.
I have stories throughout my books that trigger their story. I bet you’re thinking, “I know exactly when that was,” like your best friend took your boyfriend away. This happened to me when I was in ninth grade and let a boy fill her up. I thought, “She gave him something that I didn’t give. Maybe I should do that.” My emotions were all over the place.
Now, I stuck to my values and I stuck to my core. You have to tame that one part of you that doubts yourself with the powerful part of you. When you’re going in one direction, that emotionally weaker part of you needs you. Heal the strong part of you. It’s an integration of your parts. Those emotions have to be uncovered. What I do is uncover how you’re wired about love.
I want to let our GAPers know that Renee is such a giving person. This has been so good and fascinating on how people look at relationships, and how the love doctor can get in and make things happen. You have an offer for our GAPers. Do you want to walk us through the 90-minute eBook, Love Designer Coaching? You also said one lucky GAPer is going to get a 20-minute session with you or something.
There’s a gift link. You can sign up there, and I will give ten people an eBook copy of my book along with a twenty-minute session to evaluate if you’re going through something. People call me all the time and they’re like, “Help, I’m in this situation.” When somebody coaches you, it’s a very personal thing and you want to trust that person and know that they have something that you want.
I’m married to a very wonderful man. I’ve been in a relationship now for seventeen years with the love of my life. I was older when I got married because I was a workaholic. I wrote my book to heal myself. I’m literally exposing my whole life to the world to say that it was me stopping me from love. I wanted to reach a certain level of success.
I’m here to help anybody out there that feels like, “Where do I go? I’m stuck and I keep doing the same things again and again.” I call it a love loop where you will meet the same type of person or maybe no one because you’re not doing anything because your heart doesn’t believe that love exists. It does exist. I find the age groups all date differently since I’ve worked with 20s, 30s, 40s, and 50s. You got to look at how anybody out there that you are going to date, you will have all the secrets to ask the right questions to see if they’re even aligned with who you are. You will save yourself hundreds of dollars and hours with all these dates. “This girl was gorgeous,” and I go, “Did you ask for the important questions about your top values?” They go, “I don’t know what those are.” I go, “Let me give them to you.”It’s a love loop when you meet the same type of person, or maybe no one, because you're not doing anything because your heart doesn't believe that love exists. Click To Tweet
Time to get into the course.
Time to get into yourself and know yourself so well that you know right away from the first question that you’re going to ask, “This isn’t going to be a match,” and save yourself a lot of time.
You’re bridging the gap between people that are looking for love and finding love, but you’ve had to study people that are already in love or have been married. I’d love to know what are the 2 or 3 things that people figured out and that they’re working at love and what are the 2 or 3 things that people do to sabotage their love or sabotage their marriage as you look into that. Not the singles. Let’s talk to our married GAPers now. Tell me 1 or 2 success formula tips and the 1 or 2 things that you need to avoid.
Everything has to do with being in sync with your partner. We only have so much time in our lives. You got your career and making money. You got healthy eating, self-care, spiritual practice, your living space, social life, love, romance, and hobbies. Most people are in one of these situations. As a married couple, both I and my husband make very conscious timeouts for each other or get in sync.
These are the ways we stay in sync. I call it the three Ts. When you’re busy, you have to have the right when you want to speak. When couples are busy, sometimes you might ignore them and not feel that connection there. There might not be a connection because you’re working on a project and you keep thinking, “Once this is done, I’m going to take a break with my wife,” and you might get a disconnect.
I have all of these things that I do with my husband. First of all, you need to have a heart around. I help couples get married or save their marriage. I’m working with a lot of couples right now because people see me and my husband and how connected we are. Every couple has to have a heart and use it as a symbol to connect to the heart of the person that they love. Remember, this person is the person you vowed to have and to hold through good and bad and through all the ups and downs.
My marriage over the last few years has been crazy because we had a lot of death and illnesses in the family. It tested our love because of work balance. It’s all about being in sync. How can you reconnect when you’ve been out of balance? Maybe you’ve been selfish or you haven’t been connected. What happens is the sexual energy gets diffused and one person wants to connect sexually and the other person ignores that person because they don’t feel the connection anymore. Somebody has to take the step, whether it’s making a meal or a special evening, and reconnect and get in touch.
I have a whole article written, so if somebody writes to me, I will send it to you. It’s on my blog about how to stay in sync with couples. It says, “If you’re out of sync in your marriage, the biggest mistake a couple makes is that they’re overworking and it stresses our hectic life. Most of us are not in balance and I see this all the time.
This is so good.
Appreciation of the little things that your partner do is very important. Also, finding out their love style. I am an auditory. I like to talk about things and sometimes my husband is so focused and he does the talk to the hand. The talk to the hand thing drives me nuts because when I was a little girl, my dad used to do that to me. This is an emotional trigger. If I’d go, “Honey,” and he’d go do the talk to the hand. When I was a little girl, I used to run into my dad’s office and he would do that. I told my husband, “I’d rather you not do that because it makes me feel like you’re ignoring me.”
It doesn’t make him look attractive to you.
No. It turns me off. “One minute to go, Baby. I’ll be with you.” I started to resent that. When resentment builds up, you stop nurturing each other and appreciating all the wonderful things that you have. Whenever I get that way, “Why am I feeling this need to have him give me this attention right now?” I ask myself, “What do I need to do for myself so that I don’t have to rely on him all of the time for that?” I have my support system. I have a group.
That’s why I host groups so that you can come and talk to somebody about it because believe it or not, you and your wife, you and your husband, your wife, your girlfriend, or whoever is tuning in, we all have stress so you have to know your partner well enough to know that they don’t mean that. We created a timeframe so that we can let go of the day and write all of our lists. I shower off the day so that I can be fully present with him.
That’s a great idea.
Sometimes I get into my Wonder Woman mode and I can’t sleep. Same as you, you get excited that you’re speaking out.
I didn’t sleep last night and was wide awake. It’s crazy.
Because I knew I was getting ready to interview the Love Designer and I’m like, “This is going to be so good.”
My thing is keeping marriage sacred and spicy. Somebody has got to be in charge of it. Ladies, we run the relationship to a certain degree. I lead my husband with my feminine love. The timing of when you say something to him or she is so important. It’s the tone of the voice. If I go in and go, “You’ve been working and I’m upset. Come on.” That’s not going to work. The bitch tone doesn’t work. Watch your timing.
With my husband, if he’s hungry, it’s not a good time, so I feed him. I make sure the timing is good because when he is on a job, he is so amazing and focused. I come in and go, “I know you’re working on this big project,” so I put my hand. It’s timing, tone, and touch. I rub his shoulders and I usually am wearing something cute. It’s 9:30 and my offices are about to shut down. I hold up either a little nighty or a minute and I say, “My office is about to close, I wanted to give you an invitation, but the invitation is going to be over in 30 minutes because you’re working late.” I then touch him and I give him a little kiss and I walk away.
You’re the best. That’s the power of meaning. I always use this. When a woman goes, “Do you know what time it is?” versus when a woman goes, “Do you know what time it is?” It’s two different tones with two different meanings.
Different meanings just by the tone and the timber of your voice.
Give me the tease again. That is so freaking good.
It’s all about the timing, touch, and tone. I always throw a little food in there because I’m Italian. We’re always eating. If we ever fight, I always say, “We’re going to be angry for a couple of minutes and then we’re going to hug and get over it.” We try never to go to bed angry or if we are, we give each other a kiss and I say, “Tomorrow this stress will be over.”
Prayer is very important if you are a religious person. I’m a big person that likes to pray and thank God for every blessing that we have. Interestingly enough, a few weeks ago, he pulled out his back. I’ve been up almost every night taking care of him with ice and heat. It’s been hard because when one of you is up or down, you never know when life is going to bring you new challenges. You have to be committed to the commitment. Somebody needs to open the door.
When you’re disconnected, you might want to buy a beautiful heart and put it on your husband or wife’s desk or girlfriend or boyfriend, and say, “We need a heart-to-heart because something is not happening. We’re not in sync. I want to get in sync.” It does take for each of you to do some reflecting before you get together to be clear just like you do to prepare for work. This is your love life. People call me all the time and they’re like, “I’m leaving my husband.” I said, “Really? You’re going to leave your whole lifestyle? What happened?” Since we’re talking about emotion, try to uncover the emotion that got stirred up in you.You have to be committed to the commitment. When you're disconnected, somebody needs to open the door. Click To Tweet
I was working with a couple and the man got a new job and he was working long hours. She was taking care of everything. She started spending money and he was working longer hours and they were getting further apart. What it was is disconnection. She wasn’t appreciating everything he was doing. She was blowing all the money to get some love. People either shop, eat, drink, or do things to sabotage what’s going on. You need to ask yourself, “What do you think caused these situations? What is the intention or outcome that you want to experience with your partner in the near future? Are you both going to set the intention to make it work?”
Both of you have to be on the same page to make it work. If one person is not fully in, somebody has got to make a change. You guys got to get real about the selfishness or pulling away. When women pull away from a man once or twice and reject him, how is he supposed to get into a romance zone with you if you’re not saying, “I’ve been absent. I’d like to give this a shot?” If you’re mad at him or her, somebody’s got to break the ice because you committed to this. You’re either in or you’re out.
That’s so good. We are with Renee Piane, The Love Designer, the author of Get Real About Love, The Love Mechanics, and the designer of a five-week fantastic course that says Get Ready for Love. Renee, you have hit a home run with us and for our GAPers. There are people out there that are struggling in relationships or are looking for love. They feel that they have no emotion. They feel empty and they’re saying, “How can I create fulfillment and love in my life?” This show is going to help them. Renee, are you ready to play knowledge through the decades?
Absolutely. I did a study of my whole lineage. Why not?
What we’re going to do is walk you through your life and we’re going to want you to give us the quick attitude lesson from each decade in your life. We’re going to start with childbirth. We do have some people that remember being born, but if you don’t remember being born, I want you to think about either your children or somebody who has a baby right now. What is the attitude lesson of a newborn baby?
It’s innocence and joy.
Living in innocence because we’re all tainted afterward, and then just the sheer joy. Even when they’re crying, we still feel the joy. Don’t we? I love it. That’s a great answer. It’s one we’ve never had. Where did you grow up?
I grew up in Wilmington, Delaware.
I want you to put yourself in Wilmington, Delaware. Did you go to a Catholic school?
I went to a Catholic school until the ninth grade.
I want you to put yourself at that school. I want you to think about either a quick story of something that happened to you or what did you learn at ten.
I was a people connector even in school. The nuns used to have me take the shy nerdy girls and integrate them with the cool people. I was always a helper. I was a messenger or mentor in school.
That is cool.
They changed the uniform when I was ten years old because it was cold. They had these ugly Peter Pan shirts and I said, “It’s freezing in here. You turn the heat up and I’ll wear my Peter Pan shirt, but until then, I’m changing the uniform.” I influenced people to wear turtlenecks all throughout the winter, and the nuns had to change their uniforms because everybody was doing it.
That is so great, the fashionista. You go from this 3rd and 4th grader at 10 years old and then all of a sudden you turned into this woman of 20. You went to college. I’d love to know where you were at 20 and what did you learn when you were 20 about attitude.
I went to a beauty school when I was in high school. I worked in a beauty salon and I had mentors that have a very positive attitude. I was studying Metaphysics and Psychology. All the way up until now, I’m always studying the mind and the body. I was in school while I was studying to be a cosmetologist. As a cosmetologist, I would touch people and they would tell me all their problems. I did also weddings. I was a wedding planner and helped people to get married. I redesign their gowns, attitude, and mindset about marriage and often wrote their vows, and helped them to have sacredness when they got married.
The Lord has touched your life. You look back at it and it’s amazing what he was setting you up to be, just through twenty. Isn’t that crazy?
It felt like a mission even when I was in school because people were so lonely and I had this way of connecting people. I became a community connector. It was an influence of my parents. They were community connectors and helped build churches and old people’s homes. We were taught to give back to the community when we were children. All of my brothers and sisters have that same imprint of giving love to the world. My father’s company was Love Works and I named my production company Love Works to bring more love to the planet, so it started young.
That is cool. We’ve got to 20. Do you remember where you were on your 30th birthday? Did you have a party? What was the attitude lesson when you turned 30 or in your 30s?
I moved to Los Angeles when I was 28 years old. I bought a property when I was 20, and I used all my money from my property to move to become a community connector here in Los Angeles. When I came here, I started throwing cocktail parties called Love Works Cocktail Parties to make people meet. I gave awards away to people that were doing good in the community.
On my 30th birthday, I had a big party in LA and I flew back home, and I had a party with my family. We were big party people because my dad was a caterer. I grew up hosting parties and throwing parties. It’s a natural gift of mine to put people together. On that day, I met my very best friend, Rhonda. She came to my birthday and said, “I don’t know who you are, but I want to be your friend.” I met her on my 30th birthday. Magic always happens when people come together.
That’s the attitude lesson, bringing people and facilitating togetherness. I always say when we talk to salespeople and they have the call reluctance and say, “I’m afraid.” I say, “Your next call is your best friend you haven’t met yet.” Everybody’s your best friend that you haven’t met yet. What a beautiful message for 30. You’re very young and you’re almost 40, but we’re going to go ahead and do 40 anyway. Did you have a party at 40? What was your attitude lesson in your 40s?
I had written my first book and that was when I had changed some of my mindset about love. My career had reached a pinnacle. I was running the first-speed dating company in America. My mission was in full swing. I gave myself the permission slip to allow love into my life at that time. That was when I started to focus on having balance in my life. I created an amazing life with my work, but I wanted to have both. That was when I went into this full-on commitment to have the kind of love that other people wanted to have. I went on a search to find that. That was the year that I made that strong commitment to finding love.
That’s Attitude Booster number seven, Grow or Die, as we touch on it. The attitude lesson there is getting clarity, which is a lot of our guests. What is in store for you? Do you remember your 50th? What’s the attitude lesson of being 50? What can you tell our GAPers as a last piece of advice for those that are out there about their love and their love relationships? Let’s wrap it all up with that.
You can find love at any time and at any age. Stop believing you can’t meet people when you’re in your 50s. I met my husband when I was in my 40s. Everyone was shocked, even my father. I was coaching men and I was putting singles together. A lot of men didn’t want to share with the world. Know yourself. I knew myself. At 50, I had a health scare and I am totally into celebrating life each day. You have to be grateful for every blessing and create not only romantic love but to have a support system and people that are aligned with your vision.
Everybody wants to talk to me because of who I am. I wanted to find out who my real core family of friends was here in California because it’s 3,000 miles away from my family. Create your core family or spiritual family to support you in your vision. More importantly, remain young. Don’t think of age as a number. I’m older than 50. I don’t want to say how old because I always say I’m forever 29.
I’m into anti-aging, health and wellness, balance, meditation, and prayer. All of those things contribute to staying young, but it’s all about what you think, what you say, and what you pray becomes your reality. That’s why we’re so aligned. Your work, Glenn, is important because the attitude that you have about aging makes you age. If you think you’re going to look old at 50, you’re going to look old. People think I am 40 and I’m older than that. My husband is 61 years old.
You look fantastic.
We’re here to be examples of passion, love, and fun. Life is so beautiful. Every day, you should be thanking God for your blessings. You can’t give up. Give yourself love and treat yourself the way that you want to be treated. If you’re hard on your own heart, you’re going to end up attracting people that’ll treat you the way you’re treating yourself. Love yourself. Get in touch with what could be blocking your heart and be honest. When people buy my book and if you do ever buy it online, let me know at Renee@ReneePiane.com.If you're hard on your own heart, you will end up attracting people who will treat you the way you're treating yourself. So love yourself. Click To Tweet
The other most important thing is you have to create vows for your life. Vow that you’re going to be honest. It says, “I vow that I commit to myself that I’ll take time to get real and honest about what has blocked me. I vow to get real about the love process as a priority. I vow to do inner reflection and go deep and discover more about my lineage, and my true love vision.” Have a vision, but make it realistic. Do vision boards. I love teaching vision boards. We have somebody that can teach you how to do that. I’m even thinking about doing my version of it because I’ve created a vision of my dog, my home, my cars, and my business because I believe in myself.
You have to be able to market and brand yourself. This is the other important thing. In the next 30 days, if you knew that the love of your life was going to appear magically, what would you be doing right now to prepare yourself? I got prepared. I told everyone I was getting married. I told people that I was ready for love. People thought I was crazy. I said, “I’m getting married.” They go, “To who?” I said, “I don’t know, but I did a vision. I’m ready.” Everybody said, “You look like you’re in love.” I said, “I’m in love. I’m ready.”
It was my attitude about it. If you read my book, it’s pretty magical how I met my husband. It was sad and happy. My mother passed away suddenly and I ended up slowing myself down and going 3,000 miles away. I ended up running into a man that I knew when I was twenty years old that I had told when I shook his hand that I was going to marry him someday. He reappeared in my life and became my husband. There’s no distance or separation.
It could happen in a happy thing. It could happen anywhere. It could happen in a grocery store, funeral, or wedding, but you have to have an open heart. You have to have that vivacious feeling that love is in your future. I’m telling you it is. You have to have somebody to champion you. What you are doing, Glenn, is so important and it’s aligned with what I’m doing.
To anybody out there, never give up on love. Only open yourself and be one of those sparkly people that makes somebody’s day every day. From now on, go out and flirt with life. Do three new things this week that you have never done. Say something to strangers. Get off your phone. If you’re like, “The people at the gym, I never meet anybody there,” go to a different gym.
Whole Foods is the biggest pickup place here in California. It is a riot going to these healthy grocery stores. Every time I’m there, I meet people and I’m married. You should have fun with life. If you’re married and you have friends, or you’re single and have friends, let people know that you’re looking and stop complaining about not having someone and start to speak your love into your future.
I love it. Renee Piane, we are so honored and thankful for the love that you brought to our show with number six, Control Your Emotions. We learned a lot about emotions and controlling them. Hopefully, we helped our GAPers with their relationships, find relationships, find love, and with some tricks. Please go to ReneePiane.com to get all of her stuff. Make sure that you go to Amazon and order her book, Get Real About Love. It’s a fantastic book. Ten of you are going to get free advice from the number one love designer influencer in America. Renee, it has been fantastic. I wish we had more time. Maybe we’ll pick you up on another one. I’m very grateful to you. Fantastic job.
Glenn, thank you for this opportunity. Anyone out there, take your heart into your own hands. I swear, as you treat yourself sacredly, love will show up when you least expect it. I’d love to hear love stories. If any of you have a fabulous love story, let me know because that’s my next goal. I’m finding people that have extraordinary love stories to inspire people.
I spoke about the art of balancing love and business. There was a therapist there who wrote a book with his girlfriend. We did love and money and how love and money correlate. I spoke on love and she spoke on money. He was there and I saw them. They had that sparkle. I said, “How did you two meet?” She said, “It was the saddest thing. My husband died of cancer and his wife died of cancer. We were all friends.” They were in a grief support group together. They both had lost their spouses at the same time. They had such a strong foundation of faith and friendship that they helped and supported each other through their sorrows.
They ended up realizing that maybe God had put them together to be together. They had time to heal and now they’re a couple. They are so excited. They were like, “We thought that love was never going to happen,” because they’re both in their 60s. They found love again and they are thrilled. I’m going to be interviewing them real soon too. Sign up on my site and I’m on Facebook. I’d love to hear people from Facebook. Thank you for this opportunity.
That’s great. Renee Piane, it was great having you. We will talk to you and be engaging with you. Please engage with Renee on Facebook and her website. Thank you very much.