GAP Ken Walls | Controlling Your Emotions

 

Glenn Bill talks with Ken Walls about bridging the gap from alcoholism to meditation.

 

Show Notes:

2:28 – Ken Walls introduction

6:38 – How to reign in your emotions

9:51 – Thoughts on meditation – Meditation 101

13:16 – Surrendering – bridging the gap to who you want to become

17:34 – Grant Cardone – the attention economy

22:03 – Lesson from Mark Victor Hansen

24:21 – Jeffrey Gitomer – perspective on selling

26:05 – Andy Frisella’s story

34:22 – What is the attitude lesson of a newborn?

36:20 – What is the attitude lesson at the age of 10?

39:40 – What is the attitude lesson at the age of 20?

43:48 – What is the attitude lesson at the age of 30?

50:32 – What is the attitude lesson at the age of 40?

55:38 – What is the attitude lesson at the age of 50?

58:04 – Show close

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Ken Walls

I met this guest, the podcast King, Mr. Ken Walls. I want to welcome Ken and ask everybody to please subscribe to our show. Rate and review it. This is the last episode of Attitude Booster 6, which is Control Your Emotions. Ken’s history and his story will come in very handy for some of you that are sitting around in your life going, “I’ve made some mistakes. I have some things that I want to do. I’m not as fulfilled as I want.” Maybe some of those mistakes came because you weren’t necessarily in charge of your emotions.

We are honored to have Mr. Ken Walls here. He is the CEO and Founder of Client Solution Innovations. He’s a number one bestselling author of Walls Of Wisdom. He is the Creator of the Breakthrough Walls Pod Show. It’s a podcast and a show. He has coached and served people like Grant Cardone, Mark Victor Hansen, the great Jeffrey Gitomer, who brought us together, the Ziglar family and Glenn Morshower, who was Agent Pierce in the 48-Hour show. Ken, it is great to have you on the show. Welcome.

GAP Ken Walls | Controlling Your Emotions
Walls of Wisdom: Turning Pain Into Profit

I’m very grateful to be here. Thank you for having me on. I appreciate it.

We’re grateful to have you with our GAPers. That’s what we call our readers. We’re here to talk about this Attitude Booster called Control Your Emotions. What I’d love to do is understand what is your thought when you think about attitude, how would you define attitude and where do you think you developed your attitude?

My attitude was developed from pain. That’s why the subtitle of my book is called Turning Pain into Profit. I was raised in a home that was not much fun and lot of bad attitudes. I eventually became an alcoholic. After doing that for many years, at 34 years old, I got into recovery and became a recovered alcoholic. Now I’m many years sober and recovering. I’ve learned along the way that a bad attitude and all of that anger that I had inside were hurting nobody except for me. I decided a long time ago that I’d rather have a good positive attitude with everything that I’m doing.

When you said, “I became an alcoholic,” some people say, “No, you’re born an alcoholic.” Do you have a thought on that?

It’s tomato-tomato. I don’t know if I was born one or not. There’s a saying, “Once you become a pickle, you’ll never go back to being a cucumber.” I crossed the line. By the time I was 12 or 13 years old, I was in full-blown alcoholic mode.

Congratulations on your recovery and your commitment to staying sober. That’s admirable. Certainly, when we talk about controlling your emotions, and I’m guessing you’ve studied addiction, and our last guest talked a little bit about addiction, what’s your thought when you think about urges or why people fly off the handle? What’s the main reason? Maybe you can refer to yourself. You’ve done 2,000 livestreams. You’ve interviewed a ton of people. I know you have an enormous amount of information. What’s your thought on why people fly off the handle? Why do they lose control of their emotions? What can they do to reign that in?

I can’t speak for other people, but I can speak for myself. Normally, if I am flying off the handle, which I don’t do. I get a little ticked off here and there, but it’s generally because I am focused on myself. When you’re focused on yourself, and you’re worried about what you are not getting or what somebody has done, you’re living in fear. There’s a book called A Return To Love by Marianne Williamson. It’s about miracles, which is another giant volume of a book.

When you’re focused on yourself and worried about what you're not getting or what somebody else has done, you’re living in fear. Click To Tweet

When I’m out of control and feeling that fear, which is what’s going to trigger the anger and everything else, it’s because I’m not living in love, I’m living in fear. I don’t mean to oversimplify it, but you’re either in a place of love or fear. I’ve done technology stuff for 26 years. That doesn’t mean I know everything about it because I don’t, but I know a lot about it. I know enough to do my thing and help enough clients of mine do their thing.

There are times when I’m challenged. When I get to a technical challenge that I can’t figure out, I get frustrated because I like to have the answers. I like to know what I’m doing. I’ll get frustrated then what I do is I go, “I need to meditate.” Many years ago, somebody introduced me to the idea of meditating and I said, “I’ll try it.” First I was like, how do you meditate? I started watching some videos and listening. What I eventually learned is there’s no learning to meditate. You just do. I’ve meditated every single morning of my life for the last many years. I will be late for a meeting before I miss meditation.

Meditation is a big thing. We could do a whole show on it. For our readers, if you want to get into meditation, what is step 1, 2, and 3? Some people don’t know how to meditate. Let’s teach them in three quick steps. What’s the thought?

It’s simple. You’re already meditating whether you think you are or not because the average human being has 60,000 thoughts per day. I love Dr. Joe Dispenza. He talks an awful lot about meditation being the answer to everything that’s troubling us. You are already in your mind and thoughts all the time. Wh
At meditation does is all I do is sit and focus on the breath coming in and out of my nostrils. I do it for 15 to 30 minutes every morning.

You focus on breathing. You get inside your head, push out the bad and hold onto the good. Is that 1, 2, 3?

I try to release all thoughts, good or bad. I try to get in. Dr. Wayne Dyer talked about the magic in a song. The magic exists between the notes, that silence in between the notes, and the true power that we all have existed in that gap between our thoughts. Any religion across the world refers to God in different ways, but it always comes down to all of the answers being there. They already exist for you. They all exist in that silence. God is right here with all of us, that energy or whatever.

I don’t want to get to new age. I’m not like that. I believe that we have all of the answers already. When I get frustrated, sometimes I’ll shut off the lights in my office. I’ll sit back in my chair, sitting straight up, and I’ll close my eyes and focus on breathing for 2 or 5 minutes. The answer always comes to me 100% of the time, then what’s there to be angry about?

Nothing. Did you ever have any trouble sleeping, insomnia, or anything like that?

No, I like to sleep. I enjoy sleeping.

When you think about standing at the edge of the bridge, maybe where you were many years ago and then bridging the gap to what you’ve become now, which is a bestselling author, CEO, and producer of your own show. You’ve already hit on love, but were there other attitudes or influences that triggered you walking across that bridge and bridging the gap to who you want to become?

I had to surrender to who I thought I was to become who I am now. I think that everybody has this burning intuition inside of them that’s already telling them like, “This is who you’re supposed to be.” We allow other outside influences, preachers, teachers, parents, siblings, and all these other influences from childhood on up into adulthood.

Here’s the sad thing for me. A lot of people get to their grave at 80, 90, or whatever years old and they lived an entire life based on what they thought somebody else wanted them to do instead of what they wanted to do. Anybody that’s experiencing anger about something like, “Life is not gone the way that they want it to go,” it’s because you’re not being who you’re supposed to be. You’re not being your true self. Power Vs. Force is an incredible book. I’m summarizing it. This is a terrible summary but he says, “Anytime that we’re trying to force anything, we automatically create resistance in the universe. True power comes from surrendering.”

GAP Ken Walls | Controlling Your Emotions
Controlling Your Emotions: Anytime that we’re trying to force anything, we automatically create resistance in the universe. True power comes from surrendering.

 

That was in one of Oprah’s Super Sundays. I forget who the guy was. It’s a Black guy with long dreadlocks hair and has the church in California.

Dr. David Hawkins wrote the book, Power Vs. Force. I know exactly who you’re talking about.

He’s tough to forget visually. I can’t remember his name, but I watched that. I sat and took notes through that. Many people, especially those that aren’t achieving, aren’t bridging the gap and are going, “Why not me? Why me? Why isn’t this happening to me? Why is my life stalled? Why am I stuck in a rut?” It’s because truly they’re trying to force it.

That in turn, creates all that energy back toward what you’re trying to get to. I believe that. I get it. I’m sure we’re not as eloquent as the author and the preacher but you should look it up. If you’re sitting there as a GAPer wondering those questions, it could be that maybe you’re forcing it. I see it a lot in sales too, when salespeople try to force a sale. It isn’t going to happen.

You have trained and been with some pretty powerful and influential folks. I would love to get your take and share with our audience some of the best stuff that they’ve given you. I was watching Ken And Glenn Show With A Guy Named Scott! He talked about what you said about the hospice experiment. They interviewed 100 people. Ninety-seven of those people said their biggest regret was living the life of somebody else’s dreams. We got Glenn, but let’s talk about Grant Cardone having a huge event before the pandemic. He rocked it. Give me 1 or 2 of Grant Cardone’s big messages to you that influenced you or that you said, “That’s powerful.”

I’ll give you the biggest one. This is what changed my life completely and totally forever. I sat with him in his office one-on-one for three hours. He coached me and said, “What in the blank are you hiding from?” I said, “What? I’m not hiding from anything. I’m sitting in your office. What are you talking about?”

He goes, “Your Facebook page. I can only see it if I’m friends. You have no fan page. Why?” I go, “I’m a website developer. What do I need a fan page for?” He goes, “I buy real estate. What do I need one for?” I go, “Good point.” I started a fan page, and now I have 61,000 people following me on my fan page and am constantly at the 5,000 friend limit on my Facebook personal page. The biggest thing he taught me was money follows attention.

The new economy attention. The attention economy.

If you’re not getting attention, you’re not making it. I was a guest speaker with the Ohio chapter of the National Speakers Association. They had me on to speak to their members. There were only a handful of people there. I said, “You can’t say, ‘I want to change the world. I want to have this positive impact on the world,’ and stay hidden. They don’t work together. You can’t stay in hiding. You got to come out of obscurity.”

That’s one of the things. People are like, “You’ve done over 2,000 livestreams?” I’m like, “It’s approaching 2,500.” I’ve done a lot of livestreams. I’ve had people complain about it, and I’m like, “Block, unfollow, or unfriend me. I don’t care. You’re not my people. Get the hell out of here. Leave me alone.” If you want to make a difference in the world or your life, come out of hiding.

If you want to make a difference in the world or your life, come out of hiding. Click To Tweet

That’s a powerful message from Grant Cardone. The new normal is different and all this livestreaming. Ken has a course on livestreaming and social media that you can get to if you go to his website, KenWalls.com, or direct message me because I became an affiliate for the course. I’ll go ahead and sell it to you.

I’ve been through the course, and it’s good. There are a lot of people that say, “I’m too humble.” I don’t want all that. I think it’s okay. Not everybody has to be Ken Walls or Glenn Bill or do what they want. Those of you who have a burning desire inside of you, have a passion, and who say that, “There’s more influence for me to put out into the world,” you’re going to have to get over yourself, and have to come out of hiding. There will be haters and unfollowing them. Guys on too much, that’s fine. Welcome to the new world. Let’s go to Mark Victor Hansen and his wife, the most published author in the history of the world with 600 million books or something. It’s insane. What did Mark Victor Hansen teach you?

He’s a new friend and quite honestly, most of it is me helping him out with technology stuff and livestreaming. He is one of the most brilliant people on the planet. I can put my finger on exactly what it is I’ve learned from him outside of what I already knew. It’s more of a reminder of who you’re connected to and surrounding yourself with is incredibly important and asking. I’ve helped them launch this new book of theirs called Ask!: The Bridge From Your Dreams To Your Destiny. It’s a phenomenal book.

They totally belong on the show. That’s exactly what we’re doing. We’re going to get them.

I’ll get them on with you. It’s all about learning how to ask God, others, and yourself. I had a conversation with somebody that said, “I’ve always said I don’t want to be famous.” I’m like, “Do you want to help people?” He is like, “Yes.” I said, “Do you want to help a few or a whole bunch of people?” He said, “A whole bunch of people.” I said, “Do you think you’d have a better shot at helping a whole bunch of people if you were famous?” He goes, “Yes.” I go, “Why don’t you want to be famous? Is that somebody else that taught you that?” Light bulb, right?

How about our good friend, Jeffrey Gitomer? We could do the whole show on Jeffrey, but 1 or 2 nuggets for Gitomer fans. Jeffrey is the one that got me started on this show. He is the one that helped create what we’re doing. We would love to know that.

Jeffrey Gitomer is one of my dearest friends in the world. I’ve had the honor of staying at his house a couple of different times. He is an amazing human being. That’s one of those things. I don’t know exactly what it is.

What came to your mind? What was the first thing?

He’s the first person I call if I need input on something. He’s good at dissecting a problem or a situation. He’s maybe one of the smartest people that I know on this planet. Years ago when I first read The Little Red Book Of Selling, the best-selling sales book on the planet of all time. He sold over five million copies of that thing.

GAP Ken Walls | Controlling Your Emotions
The Little Red Book of Selling: 12.5 Principles of Sales Greatness

People don’t want to be sold, but they love to buy.

That gave me a totally different perspective on selling.

When you look back on your relationships or the people that you’ve interviewed, is there one person that when you think of attitude, a story comes to your mind that you go, “I was interviewing this one person and everything was against them?”

Yes.

I want to know that story.

Do you know who Andy Frisella is?

I do not.

He had the number one business podcast in the world called the MFCEO Project. The MF does not stand for More Fine. The guy does $400 million a year. He’s incredible. The dude is absolutely unbelievable. He’s the CEO of 1st Phorm. He was on my show. He’s partnered with Ed Mylett. I said, “You’ve got this freaking drive.” He seems angry but he is not. He’s got a heart of gold. The dude is amazing.

I said, “You’ve got this unstoppable drive. What is that?” He goes, “Honestly, it’s because I was picked on so much as a kid and bullied. That drives me.” I knew his story already. I knew part of it that he had been through years of not making any money. Now he’s doing $300 million or $400 million a year. I said, “Was it a mental shift? Was there this one day you woke up and you went, ‘I’m tired of being broke. I’m going to be a multi-millionaire?’” He owns 35 different cars that are all valued at over $500,000s apiece.

He lives in President Grant’s old house. He bought the whole property, everything in St. Louis, and it’s a mansion giant. It’s unbelievable. I go, “Was there a moment?” He goes, “There was.” I was like, “Thank you, God. Here comes the answer.” He goes, “My business partner and I had a store selling fitness products, vitamins, and health fitness stuff. We had gone for ten years. In ten years, I made $55,000 total accumulative a year.” I said, “You could have made more money flipping hamburgers at McDonald’s.”

He goes, “I know. I tell my business partner, we’re sitting there going, ‘Should we keep this store open? Should we shut it down and go get jobs? I always wanted all the women, money, and all that stuff. It wasn’t happening.’ After ten years, I was pissed off and tired of it. I looked at my business partner, I said, ‘We got to figure out what we’re doing here because we either need to shut this down or figure it out.’ Right in the middle of our conversation, this woman comes walking into the store. She was there to buy some more of these pills or the capsules. She started telling us that she had lost 50 or 70 pounds and was how much better she was feeling.”

She started crying, talking about how much she loved our products and appreciated us being there. She walked out and I looked at him and I said, “I don’t care if I ever get rich, it doesn’t matter.” That right there is why we have this business. If I can continue to help other people, I don’t care if I ever get rich. The next year, our business was literally twenty times bigger than it was at that moment. The moment that I said, “I’m going to help people and not worry about whether I ever get rich or not. I just help people.” That was such a powerful story.

That’s a great powerful story to get us to our sponsor and to end this first session of the show. It’s all about not forcing it, but it is truly all about helping people. I hope that readers are getting helped to understand through these stories, the power of controlling your emotions, reinvention, and starting over.

What we do to finish our show and part two of every single one of our shows. Hopefully, this won’t stop you too much, but you’re pretty creative and thoughtful, I think you’ll be able to do this. Knowledge Through The Decades is a technique that we’ve done on the show with every single person that we’ve done it. I’m going to take you through each decade of your life and ask you what the attitude lesson is. I want you to think back to when you were born.

Some people remember the day they were born or claim to, but I’d like to know the attitude lesson that there is when you either look at an infant or when you were an infant. Jeffrey’s definition of attitude is the way you dedicate yourself to the way you think. We expanded that. We always believe that it also involves some emotion. That’s our definition of attitude. When we talk about thinking and feeling together is what we believe comprises the attitude. What you think affects how you feel, what you feel is probably because of what you’re thinking. That’s what we’re looking for or whatever the hell you want to say. When you think of a newborn baby, what’s the attitude lesson?

Thinking and feeling comprise attitude. Click To Tweet

The first word that comes to mind for a newborn is innocence. They’re not yet programmed.

When you think about people that you’ve been in touch with or innocence, talk to me who replicates that for you. When you think about somebody, which is almost impossible to be the age we are, where does innocence manifest itself after birth in your experience or as you look around this world, where do you find it most other than that?

We all have that side to us. I don’t think that ever goes away.

The message there is to how many of us act, live and meditate on our innocence? It may be the truest form of who we are. We haven’t had that answer before. If people focus on truly being an innocent person and what that means to the people that we meet, that’s a great lesson for the readers. I hope our GAPers read and focus on that as they go through, “How am I showing and exuding my innocence?” I can only imagine you in 3rd grade when you were 10 years old. I want you to take yourself back to being ten years old. I believe that’s third grade. I want to know if you remember your teacher and if you remember the attitude lesson from being ten.

Ten was fifth grade. The only reason I know that is I have a 9-year-old that’s getting ready to turn 10 and she’s going into 5th grade. I don’t remember the exact teacher. The home I grew up in was very violent drug-infested and alcohol. There are a lot of things back then, I was trying to fly under the radar and hide from. I don’t recall a lot about ten years old.

You shut down, tried to survive, and went into hiding until you meant Grant Cardone is what it sounds like.

I was a national sales trainer at one point. Way before I ever knew that Grant existed, at ten years old, I was already drinking, smoking cigarettes, and being a little hoodlum. I thought I was The Fonz.

I was known to smoke a cigar and drink a beer at ten. We had some similar experiences at very young ages. National sales trainer for what company?

My own. I was in the home security industry. I had the largest home security dealership in all of West Virginia at one point and one of the largest in the United States. That was in my mid-twenties.

I spoke at PSA Tech. Who taught you sales?

Zig Ziglar.

Zig did have sales training. He wasn’t only a motivational speaker.

I also studied Brian Tracy. The crazy part about looking over my life is I’m friends with Zig’s kids. I’m connected to Brian Tracy on LinkedIn. It blows me away.

The attitude lesson was when you’re ten, there’s innocence and vulnerability. I was vulnerable and probably acting out as what you saw. Now all of a sudden you grow up and you’re twenty, I don’t know if you went to college or if you graduated from college, but do you remember your 20th or 21st birthday? What was your attitude lesson when you were that age?

Before my 20th birthday, around the age of 17, the high school guidance counselor called me in my senior year and said, “You didn’t get a Biology credit in tenth grade.” I said, “Yeah, that class sucked. I hated it.” He’s like, “You need that to graduate.” I said, “Why? Who needs that? That’s dumb.” He is like, “That’s the rule. You have to have a Biology credit to graduate.” Long story short, they wouldn’t negotiate with me. I walked out and I did not graduate high school. I did not go to college. However, that following year, I made more money than any teacher in that high school made. I don’t know what the gauge is, but I’ve employed a lot of people that went to college.

What was your business when that all happened?

At twenty?

When you said you made a bunch of money.

I went to work at the Honda factory building cars.

Let’s talk about the attitude of a Honda factory worker. What’s your thought there?

For me, it was horrible. Remember, I was in the throes of being a full-blown alcoholic. I was a horrible human being and a bad person. I don’t mean bad like out robbing banks. I was an arrogant little jackwagon. I’m so into myself and self-centered. It was terrible.

What about your peers on the line? Your coworkers, did you not mingle with them? You went in and collected your check?

We did. It was a party fest. You worked super hard. I’ve always had this incredibly strong work ethic. Everybody else would leave the last bell would ring for the second shift at 1:00 in the morning. I stayed and worked until 4:00 in the morning almost every night so I could get in all that overtime. That’s why I was making crazy money at 18, 19, or 20 years. Back then, it was $50,000 to $60,000 a year, which is $140,000 now. At that age, making that kind of money, I literally thought I was Elvis. All I needed was some blue suede shoes and I was good to go. At twenty years old, I was a real butthead.

In that whole next decade, you drank your way through and probably didn’t remember much.

I made millions of dollars in my twenties. I made a lot of money. I drank it all away.

GAP Ken Walls | Controlling Your Emotions
Controlling Your Emotions: I made millions of dollars in my twenties. I made a lot of money, but I drank it all away.

 

You got rid of it all. You’re probably not the only one when we talk about the show and bridging the gap from wasteful to want full. You hit 30. That’s a little after you hit what they would call rock bottom, where you said, “Things need to change.” I love to know about that experience or in a soft way, if you’re not comfortable, that’s fine.

I’m very comfortable.

Go ahead and tell us. What was rock bottom? What did that look like, and what’s the attitude lesson when you said, “I am in trouble?”

I lost my business, the house, my relationship, and all the toys. I had everything and I lost all that. I moved back to Ohio. I ended up in Seattle at one point as a vice president for this company, trying to get a job and go work for somebody. I moved to Seattle. I ended up telling a billionaire that I worked for that he didn’t know his ass from a hole in the ground. It was indignant with me. He calls me in, “I noticed that you’re showing up to the office at 11:00 in the morning and you’re disappearing at 2:00. I gave you that company phone. You’re turning it off. You’re driving a company car and you’re only here for a few hours every day. What’s going on?”

I go, “Your problem is you don’t know your ass from a hole in the crap.” I was the problem with a drinking problem that wanted to go drink in the afternoons and not be bothered by the CEO’s crap. I ended up becoming homeless and sleeping in my car in Seattle. I was like that for a while. By definition, I’ve been homeless four times in my life where I had to stay at somebody else’s house. I was at rock bottom for whatever reason. This last time at 34 years old, I had 2 Mercedes, the big house, had it all and my ex had confronted me and asked me why I showed up to her girlfriend’s house with a twelve-pack and apparently some ideas.

I said, “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” I didn’t remember it because I was in a blackout. I’m not proud of that. It takes every single last bit of pain to get us to where we get to. Would I change some things? Sure. I wouldn’t hurt as many people at all. In the end, it only hurt me. I was sitting on this bar stool, had my Mercedes in the parking lot, and my seventh beer. I could walk a straight line. I’m eating Tums like they’re going to quit making them and Rolaids to kill the heartburn. I’m smoking two packs of cigarettes a day.

Back then, you could still smoke in the bars. I’m smoking two packs a day. I’m eating Rolaids like crazy. I’m once in a while for fun, puking up a little bit of blood, and life is great. Not even close. This guy sits down next to me at the bar. He is like, “I put in my two-week notice.” I look at him. He looked familiar. I go, “Congratulations. Thanks for sharing. I’m trying to drink here. Why are you bothering me?” He goes, “I’ll be able to start.” I go, “Start what?” He goes, “Start working for you.” I go, “What are you talking about? Start working for me. Are you high? What’s wrong with you?” He is like, “You don’t remember that?” I go, “Remember what? What are you talking about?” He goes, “You told me to put in my notice that I could come and be your head installation technician.”

I go, “We didn’t have that conversation.” I’m not going to tell you everything he said because it involves a lot of swearing. He said, “The only person around here that doesn’t know that you’re nothing but a worthless drunk is you.” I was like, “Whatever.” He goes, “Go get some help. Go to an AA meeting or something.” He got up and walked out. This is a high-end area. Jack Nicholas here in Columbus, the famous golfer, I was in his neighborhood. I remember looking around and thinking, “I hope nobody else heard that. That was some bullshit right there. I can’t believe he said all that.” Something happened and I said, “He’s right.”

I paid my tab, left half a beer sitting there, got up, and went back to my hotel room because she had thrown me out for hitting on her best friend. I turned my phone off. I lay on the bed and started crying. I said, “God, if you’re real, I need your help because I cannot do this. I have no idea how to turn this off.” The next day I went to a meeting, and many years later, I don’t live for that man. I live to help other people. That’s it.

That’s an inspiring and relatable story to people that read it that may not be alcoholics, but know them. Everybody has that. For you to share that is courageous, but it’s the ultimate act of giving. We appreciate that here at the show. Even in my own life, I’ve sat there and said, “Why did I do that? Why did I say that? What did I say?” There are more people than not that probably share that experience. Now, you’re cleaned for 8 years and you’re 40. Tell me what happens. It sounds like 40 maybe reinvention or something. Do you remember your 40th birthday and what was going on with you at 40? The lesson from being 40.

Between the age of 38 and 40, I spent many years thinking that another human being, meaning a woman, would be what makes me happy. If I could find the right woman, get married, have kids, and settle down, that’s what’s going to make me happy.

A lot of people think that.

Ninety percent of the world thinks that their happiness is dependent on somebody else or maybe a higher percentage. I don’t know. Regardless of what other people are going through, that’s what I was going through. I’ve been married four times. I’m on my fourth marriage now. We’ve been married for many years and so far so good.

You’re probably a much better husband would be my guess.

I’m not perfect, trust me, but I’m a much better person. At that age, right around 36, 37 or 38, I found myself in another divorce situation. I knew that I had to have some time alone to find out and not date, not do anything, and focus on becoming a better version of me. I didn’t know what that meant. It was scary as hell to me. I took the leap. I stayed steady. I meditated and I read a lot. I focused on becoming a better version of me. Around 38 to 40, there was a rebirthing of a better version of me even with four years of 4, 5, 6 years of sobriety. It’s an ongoing process. Nobody is perfect. I’m not going to be perfect until I’m dead.

Life is an ongoing process. Nobody is perfect, and we never will be until we’re dead. Click To Tweet

Was there one book, person, or leader when you were 40 that you go, “That got my mind different?”

One thousand percent, yes.

Who was that or what was it?

  1. Scott Peck.

What did he do?

The Road Less Traveled. That book, and then many others. Man’s Search For Meaning by Viktor Frankl. Everything Dr. Wayne Dyer put out. He wrote a book called, There’s A Spiritual Solution To Every Problem. That book rocked my world.

Readers, read those books, buy them for your library, and continue the journey of personal development and mimic the brave, of who we are with, Mr. Ken Walls. Why don’t you sum up basically what was your promise to yourself or what was your thought? “I hit 50. I can’t believe I made it. I always thought I’d be dead at 40.” I know that you’re giving about love. You’ve evolved and you stood.

You bridged the gap and said, “This is who I am now.” You’ve given us a great demonstration of that. I think you’ve given hope to those people who can relate to your stories as you’ve walked through your life. I know there are people that maybe they’re at 40, but they’re going through 40, which you went through at 20. I always love to say, “It’s not the age, it’s the mileage.” People are like, “I don’t get it.” I’m like, “I guess a mileage on me.” In closing, what’s your thought on the attitude that you possess now at 50, and what would you like our readers to take away that you haven’t already said, or feel free to say it? What’s the message that of hope that you want to give our people about what they think, how they feel, and how to inspire them? Any inspiring thought that you’d want to give us?

I’m guilty of this in a big way, and that is I always want what I want and I want it now. If I don’t get it, I am perfectly capable of throwing a massive tantrum.

Back to controlling your emotions.

It is not as much now but there have been times in my life when I will throw a tantrum. If you ask any married couple who’s worst to be around when they’re sick, the husband or the wife, it’s almost always the man. At 50 years old, it’s probably when I realized the most that life is about helping other people. To the degree that you’re willing to go out and invest in other people and help those other people, that will be the degree of wealth return to you. Not just financially, but happiness and everything else.

I look at this like this. Life is a process. It is not an event. There isn’t this moment where like, “I’m 50. That means I’m going to be rich now.” No, it means that you’re 50. Keep working, going, doing the best you can to help other people. I say my prayers every morning and night. I get up in the mornings and say, “Bless me today with the ability to help another human being. If I don’t have that opportunity for God’s sake, please at least don’t let me hurt one.” I don’t want to hurt anyone. I do want to help other people. This is a process. We’re all going through the same process.

GAP Ken Walls | Controlling Your Emotions
Controlling Your Emotions: Life is a process, not an event.

 

You were a rockstar guest. If everybody took the one line, “Let’s do no harm. Let’s not hurt anyone in the period of it a day.” The world would be a much better place because people are hurting people constantly. Sometimes I throw out social media things and I put, “This is not political,” then the pain, hurt, distortion, and the lack of being able to control your emotion is evident. I’m sitting there going, “People are getting off on hurting other people.” It’s such a great way to end this Control Your Emotions with the great Ken Walls. His story was very personal and appreciated. I think there’s a lot to learn. I want to thank you for your kindness and honesty, and our new friendship. I hope that we get to meet in person soon. You were a fantastic guest. Thank you so much for being on the show.

Thank you for having me.

We will be talking with you next episode when we tackle Grow or Die. We have the great Jeffrey Gitomer who will be interviewed on that topic, and a couple of others. This is Glenn Bill signing off for the show.

 

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